Smoke Signals

How do we forgive our fathers, maybe in a dream?

Do we forgive our fathers for leaving us to often, or forever, when we were little?

Maybe for scaring us with unexpected rage, or making us nervous, because there never seemed to be any rage there at all. 

Do we forgive our fathers for marrying, or not marrying our mothers, for divorcing, or not divorcing our mothers? 

And shall we forgive them for their excesses of warmth or coldness? 

Shall we forgive them for pushing or leaning, for shutting doors, for speaking through walls, or never speaking, or never being silent?

Do we forgive our fathers in our age or in theirs?

Or in their deaths, saying it to them, or not saying it?

If we forgive our fathers what is left?

 The movie “Smoke Signals” is a captivating film, filled with emotion and life lessons.  I enjoyed it because the film caught my attention early with the opening scene of the house fire.  As a result I became invested in the characters and the storyline, wondering what was going to happen next.  As the film progressed there was a layering of the storyline, like each scene uncovered clues that answered my questions.  The film was easy to follow along with and I liked the flashback scenes because they created flow.  The message in “Smoke Signals” is what made it a homerun for me.  The idea of the roadtrip and finding one sense of self and indemnity through journeying is something everyone can relate. 

Victor’s character is one I can relate too and he is the main reason why I enjoyed this film so much.  In some ways I saw my story and self in Victor’s journey and every now and again it is nice for me to remind myself of the lessons Victor learned.  As a young child my nuclear family was separated and I had no idea why.  My parents divorced when I was only four years old and a severed family is all I know.  Don’t get me wrong my parents have tried to make my life as “normal” as possible (what’s normal anyway?)  and are probably the best divorced couple out there but it still made and impact on me.  I tell people all the time no matter how wonderful of parents I had there are certain insecurities and demons that I have to face no matter what.  Like Victor I felt abandon, unloved, blamed myself, was angry, and felt misunderstood.  In dealing with all these emotions growing up I too like Victor had a hard time in my teen years in coming to terms with who I was.  In your teen years you start to ask question because you are grown enough to understand and put the pieces together in your head.  You start to search for answers.  In questioning and searching for answers you make yourself vulnerable.  This is both a positive and negative experience.   What I got from the movie was that we cannot control or change the past but we can make a better future for ourselves.  As children we cannot hold on to the baggage of our parents.  Those are their crosses to bear and we too will have our own as we become adults. Victor should not hold the guilt of his father setting the house on fire and I should not bare my parent’s broken marriage.  It is good to learn from our parents but not hold the weight of their mistakes or wrongdoings.  Victor is so invested in his father’s baggage and guilt about the fire that it prevents him from finding his true self.  Everything our parents do affects us but it is our decision as children to control how it is going to affects us.   

This notion can be applied to anything in life.  A great example of this in the movie is the symbol of fire that runs throughout the store.  At the opening on the film we see it as something destructive and negative.  The house is engulfed in wild flames and there is panic in the air.  It is a very chaotic and sad scene.  Towards the conclusion of the film fire takes on a very different impression.  In the burning of Arnolds' home it is a tranquil scene.  The fire is calm and used as a cleansing of the soul.  There are no flames but smoke that rises above the mountain tops.  It is symbolic of the releasing of Arnolds' tortured soul and the guilt he felt.  Fire can be freeing or terrifying its all about the perspective.  It burns in many colors because it holds a different meaning to everyone.  We have the choice to see fire as beautiful or destructive, in a positive or negative light, just like anything in life.